Generally when we speak of the likes of Uriah Heep and his equally nasty mother, we think of intelligent hypocrites who can at least hold down their jobs and ambitions, loathsome though they may be. Usually, if we are inclined to compare a man to the Mock Turtle, we may assume that he is a gentle if rather stupid fellow. But I am condemned to endure the presence of a spoiled man-child who has the worst quality of BOTH. Baldric form the black Adder would be less of a pest then this impenetrable imbecile; At least Baldric was never a mean spirited little monster.
I do not exaggerate in the least: he has the heart of Uriah Heep; he is conniving, manipulative, scheming (though poorly, unlike Heep), an immortal hypocrite, and a pathological liar!
He has the mind of the Mock turtle: He is a Jack Ass that is always pretending to be something he is not, spouting pure nonsense when he is not lying his face off, half the time he spouts non sequiturs like, "Do ya know there are no gay people in California?", "Detroit is the safest city in the country", "Adam and Eve lived in the Garden of Gethsemane", and here is a real gem, "I'm going to join the Marines!" Yet he is lazy as a lapdog, and so cowardly that the least real physical threat makes him sob and cower and cry to his mommy: "Nobody appreciates me, I'm better then everyone else, I hate them, the should all be my friends, boo-hoo-hoo!" And he's so stupid, that after he had been calling me a 'douche bag' I challenged him to tell me what a douche was, and he had no idea!!
Have you ever seen this music video?:
[link])

You know its kinda hard just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool but he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue and he may not have style
But everything he lacks well he makes up in denial

I have been forced to live with this incredible idiot for two years now, I have been forced to Work with him, attend classes with him, to endure his conversation killing interruptions at dinner time and in the study hall, everyone hates his guts (except this one Yankee moron who is irritating enough by himself), and yet every time my fellow students and workers have petitioned to have him kicked out or harshly disciplined, his filthy rich parents come to the rescue! I feel like an early colonial peasant who is at the mercy of the noble lord's spoiled rotten son; if I complain or rise up I end up in the dungeon! This is Class tyranny!
The useless staff tells me lamely, over and over, "well, please try to ignore him." Show me a man who can nonchalantly ignore a swarm of killer bees in his pants, and I might consider ignoring the "West Pest" as a remote possibility!
I have lost several friends who just can't take it anymore, but I have nowhere to go, and I need to pass these classes. Yet if I have to see that Colossal ass once more, my only hope afterward will be an insanity defense; his every BREATH annoys me!!

Please, no matter what gods you believe in out there, please pray for me!